Funny Breaking News


What is the first thing that hits our mind when we hear these words? That may be there has been some important event has taken place of which we must be aware of.

I would like to share some news items that I came across on some very renowned Hindi news channels and newspapers.

So news No.1-  Commissioner of Delhi Police Has Lost His Dog.  Imagine! This was the Prime Time News on Star News on March 2008. Our amazing media had time to feature this breaking news when the Global economy was facing a slowdown. Thousands of people lost their jobs, but what was more important, that TOTO, that’s the name of the dog, went missing. But this doesn’t end here, there’s another breaking news related to this only. TOTO was found. 4 days, imagine after 4 long days TOTO was found near the railway station. Phewww. What relief, supposedly after this DP would have resumed to work. And guess what, the commissioner’s guard was sacked and the founder was given a cash prize of 10000.

Ok, moving on how often do we see that our phone isn’t working; it’s getting hanged time and again. Let me tell you, no mobile engineer can solve the problem, because India TV, and their astrologer have found the reason to it. God doesn’t like that ringtone in your phone!! It is not auspicious for you. In case you want that special direct connection with god, so please change the same old nokia monophonic ringtone! There was one more campaign by the same channel, “Check if your Mobile Phone Number is Lucky for you”. It examines if your mobile number is fit for you and your cell phone! Now this is the type of astrological news we get to see on TV.

This one’s for all Bollywood fans. News channels go to any extent to preserve the unconditional love people have for their Bollywood idols.  Amitabh Bacchan catches cold! OMG! How come that’s possible? Amitabh Bachchan, who is on the ”Unforgettable Tour” with his family, is suffering from severe cold and receiving a flurry of advices from his friends and fans as to what to do next. What more will he do except for having a tablet or wearing a jacket. But still there were so many news channels which showed the wishes people are sending to Amitabh to get well soon.

There’s more, Osama Bin Laden Sunny Leone’s Fan?  The dreaded terrorist, Osama Bin Laden was obsessed with adult star Sunny Leone. A news channel revealed that when Laden was shot by the U.S. Army personnel, at that time too he was watching Leone’s video. The Indian origin beauty is in demand!

The biggest crap of India Tv, a news by which they could start breathing again by making the viewers breathless. World will end on Dec 2012. They broadcasted all sort of silly programs and had campaigns saying ”The calendar is ready”, or “The end is near”. So now if all these hold true, we may not give our end term! I don’t understand why this news channel still exists, or rather they are confused. They are more of an entertainment channel rather than a news channel.

And now last but not the least. A man raped a dog!! One thing, I don’t even know if these news clips are authentic or not, but they are a shame to Indian Society and Indian mentality.

Mind you, they are not about state of union or lost test series or Australian open or dropping mercury in Delhi or impending recession that must be read by news-seekers, but the stories on mankinis , Saif and Vidhya, art of lovemaking that are of importance to everyone. Maybe the journalists were in some other world when they said must read.

NDTV and Times Now are the two leading OPINION makers in India. They telecast their own opinions which contradict each other. These two channels suffer from a dangerous disease called as Acquired Breaking News Virus. Viewers suffer from Breaking News Syndrome when they watch these channels. Children complain that they are seeing the word BREAKING NEWS on their text books. Corporate employees are also complaining that they are seeing the word BREAKING NEWS on their computer screens.

News like villagers chasing snakes, ghosts drinking milk, supernatural incidents, election results as qawwalis, etc, are all shown like the Ekta Kapoor style. Do these news channels think we are worthy of such type of news. Can’t we get to see some good intelligent news rather than this crap? Once one of my teachers said, don’t watch Hindi movies, they make you dumb, I would like to rephrase it and say, don’t watch Hindi news channels, they’ll make you insane!